One Step Closer And I'm about to Break
by Riku of Darkness
Summary: I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I thought you were my friends, though I guess that term takes a back seat to teenage romance... I thought I knew you, though I guess I only saw Sora and Kairi... What I should have seen was Sokai...


Hey... I'm extremely tired...It's 1 am and I'm very distracted...Why am I posting? Because of the undying guilt of making you all wait so long!

This story was written up on the spot. A friend of mine was venting to me one night about how his friend and new girlfriend were making him and his current girlfriend feel. After we talked for at least an hour, I had a slippery inspiration slink into my thoughts, and this is what came out. This story was written solely for that friend, so though the views reflected are mine, but they were inspired by this feelings. And no...Linkin Park had no links pertaining to this fic. I happened to like that lyrical line for my title.

The memories are in no particular order; they are appearing as Riku is writing out his feelings. Those are the memories that pass through his heart at that exact moment.

Note to those reading. This is not some kind of twisted jealousy note that is being written nor are Riku's resentful memories those of envy. If that's how some people take it, then I must need more work in my abilities. I apologize for sounding crazy, but I don't want people thinking Riku's all upset because he wants Kairi for himself, or worse in fact, Sora. Those who know my writing know I don't believe in those couplings, and if you didn't, I'm telling you now. This story is meant to represent someone who is being rejected by the two people he's been friends with for years, just because they're going out now. Nothing more, nothing less.

**Dedication: **Obviously goes to the one who inspired me (not just Riku this time) to write this story. The name will not be disclosed unless I am told it is okay. A shout-out to DW, for patiently waiting while I put off your piece of writing to finish this. And a thanks to my angst reviewers whose works I read; you're all quite helpful even if I don't say it.

**_-_**

_I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I thought you were my friends, though I guess that term takes a back seat to teenage romance... I thought I knew you, though I guess I **only **saw Sora and Kairi..._

_What I should have seen was _**_Sokai_...**

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* * *

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**_One Step Closer…And I'm About to Break_**

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* * *

**

…Hey… Uh… **_Hey_**… Hello!  
What do I have to do to get your attention these days, huh? Snap my fingers in front of your face?  
Hell, I feel like taking out that grinning little jaw of yours  
But…Heh…what the heck good is it if your mind drops all forms of intelligence when you see **_her_**?  
As long as I don't 'mess up' your completely random plans, I could use your house as a fireworks display and you'd still ignore me…

…_**Is that the new definition of 'childhood friend'…?**_

Am I a burden to you?  
Is my presence nothing more than a nuisance now?  
Are my plans, ideas, words…everything… Just a pestilence to you now?  
An annoyance…a handicap…an inconvenience…?  
A vexation?

_**…Is that all I am to you now…? **_

_**-**_

The golden orb that always brought such beautiful light to the Islands kissed the waterline, sending its stunning fiery rays across the ocean and upon the entity of a focused silver-haired Islander. His aquamarine spheres hardly flickered at the intense luminescence, the deep warmth being something he'd come to enjoy. He stood as he usually did, arms crossed and leaning against the Island's legendary Paopu tree as he conflicted a hybrid of emotions within his heart. The main infliction: loneliness. For one thing, he missed his girlfriend; away at a weapons camp, she had left a week ago today. It was natural for those kinds of feelings, but that wasn't the entire problem…

"Hey, Sora? Is it weird to miss her this much?" In response? Nothing but the common swishing of waves as they brushed gently against the sands and small Island extension. What was worse…he wasn't overly surprised…

He repeated his friend's name and received the same…at least for the first couple of seconds. His ears were soon greeted with unaffected whisperings of his two "friends" as they continued as though Riku hadn't said anything…

…_**As if he wasn't even there…**_

His aquamarine spheres rolled up towards the reddened clouds above while an exasperated, though silent sigh sifted through his chest.

'_Why do I even bother anymore…? Did I actually expect him to be listening to anything except her…?_' His arms tightened a little, that empty feeling spreading in his heart. It chilled him, even with the sun's warmth upon him.

"Hey, Riku… You say somethin'?" He bit the inside of his lip to stop a despising grimace from mutating his mouth externally. Shouldn't have he been appeased? His friend answered, didn't he?

"No… It's not that important…" Oh, he responded, sure, but when the reply sounds like a drugged out answering machine recording that was one step away from awaiting his message after the unconcerned tone…it was hard to feel wanted…or even…cared about…

"Okay." His pale lips separated slightly in shock as his eyes glanced backwards in a similar fashion. They soon refaced the falling orb of light, but those hurt aquamarines weren't exactly enjoying the sight anymore…

It wasn't the answer that upset him; it was the ignorant tone that laced the word. Riku was generally reserved with his emotions, generally keeping them relatively hidden. But when something was bothering him, his voice ratted him out. And only an idiot couldn't hear the insincerity when it did…

…That or someone who suddenly dumped the past for the present… Totally absorbed… And every response nothing more than a way to end the conversation as quickly as possible…

_**-**_

I didn't notice it before…  
When Misty was around  
'Cause if I did, it didn't feel **_too_** personal  
But now, it's just us three again  
It's too obvious to ignore

_**…Am I in the way? What about Misty? When we are all together, are the two of us just …"there"**_

…What changed between us?  
So you two started going out…  
Misty and I never did this to you…  
I'm not saying you can't be alone sometimes…  
But when I'm already there…isn't that a conflict of interest…

**_…When we all make plans, but what you really meant was "you and Kairi"…_**

**_-_**

Riku had closed his eyes gently while the beautiful sun set on yet another day on Destiny Island. He let the caressing warmth wrap around his heart as he enjoyed the sunset with his other two friends, Sora and Kairi. They were hanging out together, and since Misty left two days ago, Riku was really enjoying their company. They'd done a bunch of various activities, but this was Riku's one main choice and then, they'd all go home together; Riku going to his own place while Sora and Kairi went to his.

The sunset was always a favourite for him, so Riku could basically tell the time based on the warmth, brightness, colour arrangement, etc. even with his eyes closed.

…So when the two entities upon the Paopu jumped off to leave, he was in a slight state of shock mixed with a splash of anger…

…_**It wasn't even halfway done yet…**_

"Where are…you two going?" His euphoria shredded completely, he straightened up, turned his back to his precious scene and watched them rotate from their exit to face him. "It's not--"

"We figured it might be better if we left earlier. We don't want to lose out on the beginning of that movie…" His friend grinned while his words floated into the air, totally absent of regret… Regret of ditching his friend during _his_ choice of activity…

_And Riku caught it too…_

"What are you talking about? We planned out every detail perfectly. You'll have more than enough time after--" He couldn't believe this; they plan a day together and now they ditch him? On his one solitary request to watch the sunset? He didn't even care if they were sitting off to the side together and not talking directly to him; they were there together… Didn't that count for anything…?

"Yeah…but you know how we are… Sometimes, we go off course…" She giggled and nudged her guy playfully, who did the same in return. A foreign feeling began to flicker inside Riku's heart; he'd felt it off and on lately, but never paid it much mind… until now…

"Yeah…but--"

"Besides, it's not like we're doing a heck of a lot. We can enjoy the sunset as we row home." The resistance it took for Riku to remain unaffected by that statement was immense. The feeling began to burn slightly; his **_best_** friend couldn't have been more insulting than he was just now…

…_Together… Didn't that count for anything…?_

"B-But we were all gonna go home together. That was the original plan, no?" His heart jerked; he just used the **_past tense_**… A knee-jerk reaction perhaps? Or routine? "**_Was_**"? As though he _knew_ he was fighting a **_lost_** battle…

"But we knew you'd want to enjoy the sunset here whereas it's the same to us either way." Stab…Jerk…Burn…

"Besides, it's not like you're scared to row home alone, right?" Kairi now too? To think she would always care and understand; so much for that theory.

The pain spread harshly; his two _best friends_ were ditching him and they didn't seem to notice…or rather… Didn't seem to care…

"No…but I thought--"

"You don't mind, right Riku?" His heart tightened now; Riku thought he felt pained before… There couldn't be a more manipulative question… Why? Because there was only ever one true answer…

The compressed burn stabbed like steely knives…

"No… I don't mind… Go ahead…" What else could he possibly respond with? His true thoughts? Feelings? Yeah right…only if he wanted to feel like the bastard of the month. Rejection or unending, bitter guilt? Awesome options…

"Thanks, Riku. Bye!" And they left… Exuberant, happy and completely ignorant to what had truly happened here…

Riku feared rejection, his fragile heart unable to sustain any more damage caused by this cruel exclusion and isolation… And who strikes his feelings harder than anyone ever has? His best friends…

…_**Didn't that count for anything…?**_

Needless to say, that precious warmth did little to obliterate the numbing trickle of ice that chilled his insulted heart…

_**-**_

This is stupid…  
You're treating me like the plague  
And I feel like the jerk  
Why?  
I've done nothing wrong…

**_…What do I have to be guilty about?_**

I'm not against your relationship  
I have no qualms of your spending more time together…  
Hell, if you remember, it was me who pushed you  
Teased you about your feelings until you caved  
Practically forced you to ask her out

**_…But I didn't want to be left in the darkness…_**

You remember that Paopu I threw at you?  
The race we had the next day?  
That wager I placed with a smirk on my lips?  
My not so subtle hints for you to stop being such a wimp  
Just ask her out… drop the fear act and just go…

**_…I didn't know that meant cutting me in the process…_**

_**-**_

"Oh, for crying out loud…where is he?" Riku gripped the newly painted hilt of his favourite wooden sword as he paced with a now impatient step in his legs. He continually glanced down across the beach of Trinity Isle, the new location for the Islands Tournaments. His fervent efforts were useless though, his aquamarines only receiving the same stretch of empty sand that they found the seconds prior, on his last check.

"The tournament is going to start in ten minutes and registration closes in five. C'mon Sora. Where are you?" A piece of his heart began to burn with that ache that he had been suffering through for the past week and a bit, but he cursed at it to cease.

He and Sora hadn't spoken or seen each other for the past couple of days. It's not that they had a fight or anything like that; Sora was just spending a lot of his spare time with Kairi. Understandable; the two had just started going out 17 days ago and for the most part, one or the other were busy with something or another. Plus they were two longtime crushees/crushers of the other, so it was only natural that they would be excited about spending time alone together like this…

'_He'll be here. He will… We planned this about a month ago. He'll be here…_' He began to chew his lip sharply to keep his heart from arguing with his mind. He walked a little bit down the sand, trying to see if there was any sign of his spiky-haired friend.

But lately, Riku was starting to feel like the "cute new couple" was avoiding him.He knew it was natural for them to want time to themselves, and he respected that. Especially now, with Misty away for a few weeks. Just because he was alone, he had no intention of invading any times where they wanted it to be just them.

No…it was their lack of concern when they suddenly altered their pre-made plans with him to do stuff…just the two of them. Needless to say, Riku was beginning to feel a tad insulted.

"What are you looking for, Riku? Your sanity? Won't find it across the beach." The silver warrior whipped around to see the tan-haired loverboy behind him with that famous grin spread stupidly over his mouth. An inner sigh of relief passed through his chest as Riku approached his dopey friend with a playful smirk of annoyance and impatience.

"Where in the heck have you been? Registration is almost ready to pack it in." The tournament had some new subdivisions this year. Usually, they were just free-for-alls, but for some different challenges, they divided the tournament into categories: Singles, Doubles and Mixed. You could be in only one team category, but you could sign up for a singles and a doubles if you felt up to it.

The minute they heard about it, Sora and Riku decided to enter the doubles team and if they felt confident, they'd attempt singles too. But in the team category, they'd be unbeatable. And that's exactly what Riku was looking forward to. Fighting alongside his best friend for the first Champions title in the new category; he'd been pending this day for that month's wait.

"Hey, listen, Riku… Would it be okay if I enter the Mixed category with Kairi instead? Heh…we've been training for a while and thought it would be fun. Our first tournament together…" That aching feeling shot through the silver paladin's chest with a vengeance as his aqua vision glanced past his _friend_ and noticed Kairi standing a few feet away. Though out of earshot, she caught Riku's gaze, smiled sweetly and waved in the same fashion.

Completely ignorant…both of them…they planned this a month ago. And in the span of a few days, they just decide to change it last minute…without even discussing it with the one they were cutting out, no less.

"Yeah…but…Sora… We planned this weeks ago. We were going to pulverize the Doubles competition, and then… I mean… you remembered… You just told me so, but why?" He cursed himself for his last stammering sentence. He didn't want Sora noticing his disappointment, even though that harsh sensation was getting almost impossible to ignore and suppress. They weren't simply playing with his feelings; they were torturing them without the slightest concern. Like they weren't even trying to pay attention to anything past themselves.

"Yeah…I know, but Kairi's never participated before I thought it would be fun for us to fight together. And we figured you wouldn't mind, right?" Riku wasn't sure whether to get really upset or totally furious with his _friend _Sora. He'd put up with a lot since they started dating, but Sora and Kairi were really starting to infuriate him.

And what was he supposed to do? If he refused, stating that they already made plans, Sora would likely take offense, Riku'd feel guilty, and the day would be shot anyway…

…_**He'd never been taken for granted before, and it left a bitter taste in his mouth…**_

"No… Forget about it… Next time, I guess…" He no longer tried to conceal his disappointment; he shouldn't have to. That was simply cruel what Sora did, and then like salt on a wound, insult to injury, his smile increased and he gave Riku a friendly shot in the arm.

"Thanks, Riku. Besides you'll conquer the singles hands down." Nothing more; his _friend_ bounded off to his new partner, now in more ways than one. He watched them leave down the appropriate hall before walking up to the desk like someone in a trance. He glanced at the paper, inwardly flinched at another violent pang before blankly signing his name beneath the other participants.

_…He didn't just ditch the doubles; he abandoned the singles too… I guess fighting alongside the one you've known since age three doesn't mean shit anymore…_

_**-**_

I just can't grasp it  
Ever since you two became "one"  
You've turned into…something else  
Suddenly, you know all there is  
When it comes to "love"

**_…And suddenly… I'm the ignorant one…_**

You're never apart, or so it would seem  
Connected at the hands and occasionally, the waist  
God forbid you're alone for a second, Sora  
Seriously, God forbid  
Cause then…you won't shut up about her…

**_…You forget that I've known her for those 11 years too…_**

Do I look stupid to you?  
Do you think that because I try to treat you and Kairi  
With the same respect  
That I give Misty  
That I'm suddenly not as involved as you?

**_…Pardon me for acting like I care about all my friends…_**

'You never prove it'  
Excuse me? I don't **_flaunt_** my relationship  
So suddenly, it's not as evolved as yours  
Bull… You're in a pathetic of dreamy euphoria  
You've never even had a relationship, let alone like this

**_…And suddenly, you know everything…_**

I thought you were mature enough to handle it…  
Hence why I pushed you  
You've always been kinda like a kid, Sora  
It's just your fun-loving charm…  
But this isn't funny anymore…nor is it just _fun_

**_…I'm not just getting sick of your behaviour… I'm getting sick of you…_**

_**-**_

Riku bit his lip viciously to keep it from reaching a scowl as he glared into the stone wall across form him. The cement almost seemed to cringe under his furious aqua vision, which was hardly enough to indicate his heart's stabbing pains. He pleaded with himself to stop, since he didn't need or want to be explaining why he was ready to break that innocent stone with his hand if his eyes didn't work.

Despite his easy clean-up in the singles division and the embarrassing loss _the couple_ received in the Mixed section…it had been an empty victory…on both counts…

"Here's the reigning champ. Told ya it wouldn't be a problem for you, Riku." The silver-haired boy didn't even have to look at his friend; he could hear that ignorant grin plastered all over his face. But he glanced that way anyways, not wanting to seem rude or the way he felt; in a state of angered exclusion.

He gave the couple a stunted smirk, trying not to flinch as those invisible hooks threatened to dig into his pale flesh.

"Well, d'uh, Sora. When has Riku ever lost? It's insulting to call it competition anymore." Riku's face didn't move, the strain heightening when Kairi's giggle went through his head like a nail. He used to love listening to her laugh, but then, he used to like hanging out with her, too.

His thoughts…they had matched hers exactly. But I probably don't need to tell you that they weren't accentuated with a giggle…

He had hoped to try the Doubles to see if there would finally be some competition, but he was denied that curiosity. And guess whose fault that was? He hated it before, but admitted that it was probably better that Sora didn't compete in the Singles competition with him… Riku seemed to find beating the opponents was easy if it was Sora he was beating the hell out of. Had Sora actually been in that ring…it might have become dangerous…

"Say… Uh… Riku…" Again, his face stayed constant, despite that malevolent urge it felt to scowl and deck Sora's flirty little jaw. The both of them had their pathetic faces on; the ones stained with that insulting ignorance. Riku wasn't surprised nor was he shocked; he knew the rest even before the lovebirds caught his location…

Sad part…he was beginning to wonder why they would always ask before…

"Let me guess. Rather than go to my place, like we _originally_ planned…" A face of stone; you'd think the teen practiced or something. He even managed to keep his voice steady and tepid, even though it screamed of a frozen hell; iced and flaming all at once.

"The two of you wish to go 'celebrate' your…erm…loss…by going and walking through the sand or heading to some café or another?" It came out as a question, but honestly, he forced that, too. He denied his body an external sigh, but hesitantly permitted his heart an inward one.

"Geez, Riku… H-How…How did you…" Sora's blatant shock at Riku's response made the silver paladin's chest compress all the more; why shouldn't he have guessed so easily? It's not like this wasn't becoming some painful habit.

Truth seemed to be that Sora and Kairi really were ignorant to Riku's feelings, and that hurt…

…_That hurt really bad…_

"I'm psychic…" His tone was poisoned of sarcasm, but they didn't seem to notice… Big surprise. They knew Riku liked to be playfully sarcastic more often than not, but they knew when something was bugging him when the notes were no longer _playful_.

_Or…they used to know…_

"Heh…very funny, Riku. I assume you're fine with it then? Seeing as your precog--whatever was correct…" How did Riku really know? He had the extreme fortune of hearing them talk about it privately during the tournament itself. He wanted to find them about something and accidentally overheard their decision to change already pre-made plans…again…

That's what sparked his anger. All this time…they would plot behind his back, forgetting about him completely. And then, insult to injury…

Again, he asked himself---why? They already made "their plans"; why the hell do they constantly wish to ask him if it's "okay"? It's like they're asking for his permission, even though they have no intention of changing their minds regardless. They treated him like some parent, not a friend. And what's worse… they threw a blanket of guilt over his shoulders and heart to ensure that he "won't have a problem" with their alterations. Yes…how very kind… Door #1 or Door #2: Both ending with his heart being tossed into some bitter acid to burn and hurt… Is this what friendship is meant to be?

He really began to wonder… Would it hurt less if they just left without bothering to say a word?

"Premonition, Sora. The vision is precognitive and is called a premonition." Neither of them reacted to Riku's statement, giving him two blank, dopey expressions. The kind of faces that you would see with someone who didn't understand or… someone who wasn't listening. Riku picked the latter…

'_They didn't care about anything except my 'acceptance' of them going off… How very considerate…_' Faces that spoke "So what… Your answer?". Riku sighed again; externally was a mere reflection of the biting and painful exasperation he felt pricking at his heart.

"Yeah, go ahead… Misty said she might call tonight… I wouldn't want to miss it…" He turned and faced the wall again, his sentence steeped in the deep emotion that doused his chest. He wasn't lying; Misty did say she was going to call, but he thought they would all talk to her together if they were all over. But why bother mentioning that? They probably wouldn't care anyways. They didn't want Riku around; why should his girlfriend be treated any differently?

"Heh…careful, Riku… Wouldn't want to get or seem **_too_** attached now…" She laughed at her guy's statement, a sugary agreement spilling from her lips before the two bounded off together like two puffs of airheaded clouds…

So ignorant…they couldn't even comprehend the insulting levels of malevolent irony through those insulting words, that benighted sentence/

It was meant as a joke…but in this kind of situation, I'm sure anyone could see that it was **_not_** an intelligent move. After all the crap, they'd pulled up until now, it's no wonder Riku "missed" the humour…

He permitted the flaming ice to encompass those patronized aquamarines, welcomed that enraged scowl to poison his once jovial smile. His head slowly turned to face the direction that they left in. Even his hair felt reviled, the silvery strands falling heatedly over his now darkened eyes.

"Go to hell…"

**_-_**

How much longer are you going to pull this?  
It existed before, but will you hit these extremes with Misty, too?  
Why? What have we done?  
I know Kairi's number one now… That's fine…  
But why must you shove the second place position down my…our throats?

**_…Second place…or just plain 'replaced'…_**

What should I do, Sora?  
Just keep letting you treat me like this?  
Keep acting like this rejection doesn't bother me?  
Vent to myself, alone in my room  
And then throw you an "it's just fine" smile

**_…Until that darkness builds too far…_**

Who can I talk to about this, huh?  
Certainly not you or your girlfriend  
You'd just throw it back at me  
I can't talk to Misty  
I think she already knows, but…

**_…Why should I spoil her life because of you…?_**

Tidus won't get it  
Not with Selphie on his arm  
She'll take your side, and so then will he  
Wakka might, but to be perfectly honest…  
I don't think he'll get it…

**_…I'm alone… How could you do this to me…? Alone…_**

_**-**_

"What do you mean, Sora? You and Kairi…you promised…" Riku stared at his spiky-haired **_friend_** with a hybrid of astonishment and discontent. He was beginning to get accustomed to Sora's unfaithfulness as a friend, but he didn't think Sora could be this selfish.

"What's your problem, Riku? I'm trying to do you a favour." Riku nearly choked; his aquamarines filled with so many emotions that he could barely distinguish any of them.

_And still, Sora remained "unaware" of his feelings._

"Wha--? A favour?" Riku almost couldn't resist the urge to scream at his clueless buddy. Misty was coming home in one week after being away for two, and they decided on the day she left that they would spend the day together when she returned. But now… Something else was "more" important it would seem…

And the look Sora gave him made Riku want to shove Sora into the water and never talk to him again… Looking at him like he was the ignorant one…

"C'mon Riku…don't play dense. Come next Friday, Misty'll have been gone for three weeks. After all that time apart, wouldn't you want time to yourselves?" Again with the 'relationship advice'? The year younger was giving **_him_** romantic tips? But Riku didn't take too much offense to that; it was more that Sora suddenly decided _he knew_ what Misty and Riku wanted to do with their time and feelings. Who was Sora to make those decisions for him and his girlfriend?

"Sora, that's not the issue. Misty wanted to hang out with **_all_** of us when she got back, remember? That's what **_we all_** decided." Riku didn't deny that his urge to chastise the kid and permitted it to filter into his voice. It's bad enough that Sora was abandoning Riku at every chance he got…but now he wanted to directly attack Misty, too? Kairi and Sora had done that to the two of them before she left, but it was so mild, that neither saw it as an issue to bother reflecting on. But now…

"I know, Riku…" The silver-haired teenager **_almost_** recoiled in shock; Sora **_almost_** sounded like he knew that he wanted to ditch his friends and that he "regretted" it. **_Almost_**…

"But this cruise only happens once and we have to leave really early if we hope to make it there on time. This thing means a lot to Kairi and me…" A shot of anger, nearly verging hatred, pierced Riku's heart when Sora's words seeped into the air. This was getting surreal…

"And being with everybody means a lot to Misty. We all decided as a group not to bother with this boat thing and spend the day doing random crap like we used to." Unlike before, Riku wasn't just going to give up instantly. Misty meant too much to him to just act like he was "okay" with the whole thing.

"That's because we knew Misty wouldn't be back in time, and we couldn't essentially get tickets anyway. But now, Kairi and I have them since Lulu and Wakka can't make it. I think Misty will understand." Truthfully, she would. But she still may also feel what Riku had been dealing with this entire time, and he didn't want that variable in there…

"That's not the point, Sora. It's not fair to her. Kairi's leaving for a few days afterwards, and Misty wants to see her. Doesn't that mean anything?" Riku knew he was fighting a losing battle, but was feeling too hurt to just drop the subject without making sure Sora didn't leave in ignorant bliss once again…

"Of course it does. But is it a crime to want to spend that night alone with Kairi before she leaves?" And Sora dared to call Riku too attached… Kairi was going to be gone less than a week and on the last night; they **_had_** to be alone…

The thought caused Riku's heart to ache and made him feel sick to his stomach. At this point, he didn't even want to be with them, nor did he want Misty to have to put up with their arrogance either. He was walking the tattered line of his sanity; about to break.

"Fine! Whatever; enjoy yourselves. I'm sure I can explain that to Misty when she gets back to discover that you had better plans than hanging with us…" Riku hadn't meant to say what he did, but he didn't overly regret it either. He was getting tired of being treated like the thing you only considered when there was nothing better to do. He'd been damned patient up until now, but he was so close to cracking, that his anger and disappointment were leaking through the barrier.

"C'mon, Riku. Don't say it like that. You make it sound like we don't care. Can't we just re-schedule?"

_Why? So you can conveniently forget about us again to make new plans, suddenly remember your previous engagements and then, get out of them too…?_

He wanted to say it; not yelling, but speaking it slowly with a hushed, level tone. The dangerous anger; the silent one. He wanted Sora to feel guilt like he'd never imagined possible. Hell, he almost wanted their special cruise to be nightmarishly ruined, making them wish they'd never even considered that stupid boat ride.

But…he wasn't that kind of person. He knew it wouldn't help anything, and he couldn't fathom being like that. He wasn't going to lower himself to being cruel, just because they were blinded by their relationship. It wasn't worth it…

"You're right… I'm sorry… But you **_owe_** us big…" Though a bad reaction wasn't worth it, he still had to force his alternative response. He'd passed the anger stage, and was about ready to sink into the 'Why bother?' phase. He just hoped that his decision wasn't a mistake…

"Yeah, I know… Thanks Riku!"

"Whatever… See you Monday…"

_**-**_

Do I even know you anymore?  
It feels like we've instantly drifted apart  
You always used to know and care  
When something was bothering me  
But now…even if I screamed…

**_…I doubt you'd hear a solitary note…_**

Do you want me to leave?  
We don't even watch the sunset together anymore…  
If I'm on the Island, you're on the pier  
If you're on the Island, I just don't bother  
Have things changed that much…?

**_…Do you even want me to be your friend…?_**

I'm confused, Sora  
I don't know what to say…or do…  
Because I sure as hell can't talk to you  
But if you don't wake up and treat me…us with some respect…  
I won't have a problem to worry about anymore…

**_…We've always been a trio… But just because you're a couple now…I refuse to be the third wheel…_**

**_

* * *

_**

Riku slowly placed his shaking pen onto the desk beside his newly written note. Well, his pen hadn't been the shaky one; though that's what he would have preferred to think…

His emotional aquamarines scanned over the harshly scrawled black ink upon the terrified white paper. The extreme contrast of light and dark upon that poor page was soaked in irony, leaving a lousy taste in Riku's mouth. He needed to vent how he felt, but afterwards, the harsh venom upon that page scared him; he hadn't realized just how far this note had gone…

In a solitary motion, his trembling black-gloved appendages crumpled the tainted paper and threw it across the room. He wanted to tell Sora how he felt, but not like that. Despite all that's happened, he didn't want to give up yet.

His heart nearly had a seizure when the phone sent its obnoxious call about the house. He had been in such a focused state that he was surprised he even heard it. As his hand hovered over the receiver, a nerve-wracking chill slipped over his heart. He feared answering it…for he feared that _he_ was on the other end. But he couldn't let it just ring…it would haunt him for hours…

"Hey, Riku here… Oh hey…Sora… Yeah… Sure, I understand… Whatever…no big deal… See you tomorrow…huh? Oh… Well…I guess I'll see you when I see you… Yeah… Later…" Gently, his arm dropped, carrying the receiver down with it. His blank aqua orbs stared at the obsidian phone for several pained seconds before subconsciously dropping it back on the cradle. His body emotionlessly plummeted onto the couch before those faltering aquamarines scanned over the room…to where that rejected paper lay…


End file.
